I wanted to get back to my roots because I thought that’s the only way to paint the correct picture. There’s so much to learn. It’s overwhelming. There are so many perspectives. There are so many desires and hopes and dreams. So many wishes. And plans. In the past. In the now. To do something. To prevent something. To participate. Be a branch. A hand. A leaf, even.

I have already started to dig. What I have dug. At each stage. I was struck by the passion, the convictions, the visions, the integrity of purpose I uncovered, between the lines.

Many sincere souls have already come and gone, and yet, the forces that they opposed still proliferate. Greed. Callousness. Hedonism. Pride and Self-righteousness. Exclusivism. Views that polarize. Mahatma Gandhi — we need what you had. We need the brilliance of your honesty. To self. To people. To life. You were like that Jesus who lived in Nazareth, the one who spoke what was needed to be spoken. The one who wanted people to listen to him, on what should be. But, Mahatma, Jesus, great souls, people still would choose to be deaf even when truth is already crying out loud.

I have already started to dig. But, my God, there is too much already buried underneath. How do I sift through all the rubble that are getting in the way? How do I piece together all the pictures, from below, from here, from beyond, from the not yet?

Pictures keep shifting, like shadows, like water, like light between trees’ leaves. The perspectives are kaleidoscopic. To mortals who aim for the absolute, it is hopeless.

I remembered the Garden of Eden, when God warned against eating from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Violators will die — be expelled — be separated from where the Tree of Life is. I tried to get hold of this part of the kaleidoscope for me. And I understood. My God, I understood.

It is this. That. Man is crazy to want to really get hold of THE KNOWLEDGE. OF. GOOD. and evil. This can’t be done. This is what we want, but this can’t be done. This will kill us. It will overwhelm our systems. It will crash the system.

If THIS absolute gets into our hands, it will OSSIFY the system. What will happen to the electrons? How will they spin? What will happen to the fractals? Can you imagine a world without fractals?

Clouds will not condense. We will have no rain. Water will not rise up to the tips of the leaves. What will the butterflies eat? There will be no more wind to shift.

I have started to dig. The base is deep and broad. As I dug, so I saw more — and this is the irony — that I had to uncover before I was able to start to see what already was waiting to be seen.

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