One of the things I don’t like about academic work is that it’s taking away much of my sleep time.
I like sleeping. I like the feeling of falling down whenever I’m on the verge of it, which usually happen when I was particularly mobile that day. The first time I remembered it happen I was about 4 or 5, the time I started going to school. The sensation of falling down then was associated with my dream of floating down slowly from where I could see a basketball ring, like associating my fall with a ball’s going down trajectory but in slow motion. During those times it would happen to me I’d feel apprehensive. For one, I can’t fly. So it’s associated with helplessness. But later on when I had to cut some of my sleeping time I found myself welcoming those feelings of letting go, like they’ve become for me transition states from the world of stress into the world of contentment.
What I am thankful about just now is that I still have the capacity to almost immediately start dreaming just a few minutes into closing my eyes.Sometimes it doesn’t even have to take the closing of my eyes before I’d start dreaming. These are those times when I’ve been sitting tire-fully in class and fighting off sleep and then suddenly I’d realize I’m witnessing something that doesn’t belong in class. One time I was sitting up perfectly straight at a teacher’s lecture, pen in hand, but the things I write down have nothing to do with the lesson. All the while my act of writing down was supposedly for taking down notes. Voila. Before I knew it I was already in dreamland 🙂 I was writing down words associated with my dream. One of those was “worm”, and I think it was because my teacher was then using a flower, drawing it on the board in chalk, for illustrating some abstract algebra concept that had to do with rotations and flips and turns (hahaha! I couldn’t even understand it perfectly then!) and there I was writing down on my notebook the word for creatures having the same body shape with caterpillars, creatures that wriggle on plants (haha!)
I don’t want to lose this ability to instantaneously dream. For minute naps they are my sure proof that indeed I have fallen asleep, and I feel glad for having them.